A new feeling

I've been without my computer for about a month now. I'm on maternity leave so it made it that much worse. I realized while being without it how much I really like to sit down a write a blog. It's just an outlet. You don't know whose reading it, if anyone is, and it doesn't really matter anyway. It's just a way to get it out there, whatever "it" is. At times I wanted to just take out a sheet of paper and a pen and put to paper all that was on my mind. There's no backspace button, no eraser, it's simple. But of course, never got around to doing that.

Life has been so crazy.

Being a mom has brought feelings to me that I've never experienced before.

I know what it feels like watch your niece be born. I know what it feels like to see the joy on a child's face after they've just come back from trick or treating, and have more candy than you could imagine. To see your nephew's smile as he feeds the ducks at the park or rides his tractor in the backyard. I've experienced the joy of coming out of my room Christmas morning to see a ribbon and walnut trail leading the way into my playroom to show me my new swing set.

I know what it feels like to hold a cup of coffee between your hands on a cool crisp fall morning. Watching the sun rise and set. Meeting the love of your life and him asking you to be his wife. Getting out of the shower to grab a warm towel from the dryer. Digging my toes in the sand. The smell of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies in the oven.

But when the doctor lays your beautiful child on your chest after you've just spent hours in labor, there is NOTHING that comes close to that feeling. Then being able to spend days and nights with them in your arms, and knowing that nothing has ever felt so good. Watching them smile as you give them kisses is so perfect in every way. To call this feeling love almost seems like an understatement. My son has changed my life. He has changed my marriage. He has even changed my relationship with Christ. I'm so much more appreciative for the little things. More so than I ever have been before.

Here is my miracle.